your happy thought - makes you wanna fly

  1. Starting Over.

    There is a kind of sadness and excitement in the idea of starting over.

    Knowing that I want to get married and have children in the future, I have been proactive in searching for that one person who will do all these things with me. I have been reading a lot of books, asking for older people’s opinions, going out a lot (not to mention spending a lot, too), mustering the courage to talk to random strangers, etc.

    It is exciting to introduce yourself to others, knowing this time that you have gathered more experience and wisdom. Knowing how to package yourself well, knowing when to say the right things at the right time. Knowing how to play your cards right. If only to make it seem that your life is more interesting than it is. Collecting bits and pieces of information from the other, and comparing it to your preferences.

    However fun and exciting it must be, I find it rather frustrating at times. Don’t you find it sad when you have to explain yourself to somebody all over again? When you have to decipher every little thing about that somebody? When you have to tell the same stories you know you already told someone else before him/her? When you have to introduce that somebody to your family and friends, earning for their approval? And the comparison – oh! Judgments.

    Today, I don’t want to move. I just want to stay here, stuck where I am – in between yesterday and tomorrow.

    (Source: afewheartbreakslater.wordpress.com)



  2. You know you are a missionary if:

    I have been in a Catholic community all my life. My parents are part of the Couples for Christ – Foundations for Family and Life. I transferred from Kids to Youth and is now serving in the Singles for Family and Life. I have been to countless of mission trips, camps, assemblies, households and conferences. Here’s a list of what I have experienced for the past..well, for almost all my life:

    1. You keep your prayer time. Your mission bag consists of a bible, a daily bible journal, didache/gabay/365 days with the Lord/companion, rosary, iPod/MP3 player, index cards, planner and Sound the Trumpet (songbook). 
    2. You know a little of different dialects / languages, and is willing to learn because it is necessary. You even know a song in another language. (I know Our Father in Tagalog and Ilocano). 
    3. You have tasted different kinds of weird food you never thought exists. You ate them out of courtesy, and wished you trusted your instincts and hadn’t. 
    4. You are an expert packer – you can pack your stuff within 30 minutes because you already have ready pouch for toiletries, make-up and other stuff. 
    5. You are resourceful – you use your sarong as jacket, blanket, pillow, mat, accessory, belt, etc. 
    6. You are low maintenance – You are always on the go and pressed for time, so you keep a style that is easy to pull-off. 
    7. You have friends from Sweden, Singapore, Thailand, Isabella, Palawan, Bulacan, Subic, Tarlac, etc. You even have a postcard sent to you from Australia. You have visited a lot of places too, but most of the time, you have not visited the places’ tourist spots because you were there for a different purpose entirely. 
    8. Check your facebook: you probably have 1, 500 friends there by now. You are also getting notification from time to time because you are part of different groups like Live Pure, Cool Catholic, etc. 
    9. You segregate your friends depending on their time zone. You also keep a calendar with “high tide and low tide” predictions because you will need it for planning trips / activities. You also have a list of exchange rates. 
    10. Depending on how long you have been one: you probably have a cabinet full of folders with different file names on them – profiles of members, small group topics, talk outlines, manuals, etc.Your ID’s from different conferences could cover one part of your room’s wall; you can wear conference shirts everyday and you wouldn’t have to repeat clothes for a whole month. 
    11. You try to fit 10 people in a car and find nothing wrong with it. 
    12. Hillsong, Fireflight, Jesus Culture, Desparation Band, Jband and SELAH songs occupy 90% of your iPod memory. 
    13. You keep a blog or journal containing your experiences / realizations. Your facebook status mostly consists of lyrics from different worship songs or lines from a talk or household you just attended. 
    14. Hanging out means one-to-one or group “fellowship” dates over coffee, meals, karaoke or movie. 
    15. Your calendar is always full, and your other friends would need to set an appointment with you at least a month before said date, just so they could catch up with you. That is probably the reason why your planner or checklist is more important to you than a new pair of shoes.
    16. You get sun burn in February. 
    17. Your friends own cars and condos and other hi-tech gadgets, but your savings are allotted to future family, and other expenses consists of: registration fees for you and your members, coffees, food for fellowship, fare to different places, etc. 
    18. Your godson is your former member’s son. The other godparents were also part of your former household. 
    19. Gifts during Christmas consists of Bible, bible diary, bible reflection guide, books of Bo Sanchez or Max Lucado, CDs of Hillsong, rosary, etc. 
    20. By the end of the day, you feel physically drained because you’ve had 3 meetings and one fellowship scheduled that day. Still, your heart is so happy, you swear it was all worth it. 
    21. Your greatest fulfillment is when your members who used to swear a lot or smoke a lot or used to be problematic children are now your co-leaders and are actively serving God, because they have finally found their happiness. 
    22. You met your God’s gift during one of the camps/conferences, and you’ve experienced talking to your couple coordinators and household servants regarding “Relationships: the Christian way of keeping them”. 
    23. You refer to people as “name, province s/he is from, cluster/district, ministry s/he belongs to, parents, his/her household leader”. Example: “si Kai, yung Singles ng Novaliches, nagse-serve sa Bago Bantay/Sto. Nino church, household head, member ni Ariel/Wanee, yung member ng Selah, anak nina Bro. Boy at Sis. Tess Garcia”. 
    24. You cried over people whose names you didn’t even know. 
    25. Along the way, your prayer time becomes longer because you get to pray for people from other places and other countries. You haven’t met most of these people but they were passed on through SMS and you care enough not to ignore. 
    26. Your mission leads you to friends you will keep for a lifetime. 
    27. You have a lot of parents from different parts of the country/world. 
    28. Your heart has been touched by stories of different people and you witness God’s goodness and miracle in them every single day. You also learn to appreciate the beauty in simple and small things like the rising of the sun, a stone, the importance of every peso/penny, etc. 
    29. You are not perfect, but you are struggling to be holy because God is holy. 
    30. You realize that there are a lot of work to be done and you try to divide yourself in order to meet all these needs, but at the end of the day, all you can do is to pray. 

    I’m sure there are a lot more that you can add to this list, like “If you consider going home as a vacation”. If you can relate to one or more, or all of these things, then hold your head high and give me a high five, mighty missionary of God!

    (Source: afewheartbreakslater.wordpress.com)



  3. Feelings are Complicated Things.

    It will never be as simple as this.

    Feelings are such complicated things. Sometimes, they are simple. Most of the time, they can’t be just bound by words. They are beyond what we could describe, explain, utter, express. There are times when we feel that we are showing how we feel the best way we know how, but at the same time feel that it is not enough. Or knowing what we feel, but not being able to express them properly. Or feeling all sorts of emotions at the same time, you don’t know which of them you should show.

    But the hardest part is not being able to identify your emotions at all. These images pretty much sums up what I am feeling right now.

    I haven’t even started sorting out my emotions, haven’t started equating them with reason and sense. Nonetheless, I feel that I am ready, so ready to wear that heart on my sleeves again.

    Find me soon. You would really make me so happy, I would mark your name permanently on my body.

    ~I’ve been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see.

    Painted faces fill the spaces I can’t reach.

    You know that I could use somebody – someone like you.

    Off in the night while you live it up, I’m off to sleep.

    Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat.

    I hope it’s gonna make you notice someone like me.

    I’m ready now, I’m ready.~

    (Source: afewheartbreakslater.wordpress.com)



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  4. The Waiting Game: This is For Those Who Wait

    I am 24 years old, and I am single. But, so what? :)

    This is a hollah to all the single ladies out there, like me.

    Here’s a song that you can listen to during this excruciating time of waiting, just to get you through. (Take note of its lyrics and meaning).

    ~This is for those who wait.

    Another day another waiting game
    A little different but it’s still the same
    I am here but where’s the one I’m longing for?

    I’m having troubles feeling all alone
    Will my heart ever find a home?
    I want to hope but sometimes I just don’t know
    I know I’m not the only one

    So you sing a lullaby
    To the lonely hearts tonight
    Let it set your heart on fire
    Let it set you free

    When you’re fighting to believe
    In a love that you can’t see
    Just know there is a purpose
    For those who wait

    I want to open up my eyes
    I know that all I need is time
    I’m growing stronger every single day

    God, I’m gonna leave them to You now
    Letting go all of my fear and doubt
    I can’t do this on my own, so I’ll give You control
    I know I’m not the only one

    The pressure makes us stronger
    The struggle makes us hunger
    The hard lessons make the difference.~

    Happy waiting :)

    (Source: afewheartbreakslater.wordpress.com)



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  5. [Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

    My new sounds: